Did you spent the winter eating cookie dough for dinner, skipping the gym, and drinking until you blacked out every night? DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT! Fitness is EASY and it’s for everyone and you can get the results you need without even trying. Here are some sure fire ways to tone up and slim down. Lol!
- USE THE ELLIPTICAL!!
It’s easy, fun, and mindless! Read a magazine, have three Diet Cokes, text your BFF, knit a sweater, do WHATEVER you want while exercising on the elliptical. The best part about the elliptical is its simplicity you won’t even sweat!!! Yoga butts here we come!
- SKIP LEGS!!!
Squats? Ew! Who’s looking at your legs anyway? Just wear pants! Lol. Leg workouts are boring and take so much time so skip legs at all costs. Don’t you want to be able to sit on the toilet with ease?
- BICEP CURLS EVERY DAY
Giant arms are really all that matters. So hit the biceps as hard as you can and let everyone see how tough you are. Remember to lift as heavy as you possibly can and USE YOUR BACK it’s a muscle too. Cutoff t-shirts are required when going out all summer preferably pre-made ones.
- IF YOU DONT LOOK COOL IN THE GYM YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME
This means spending $300 at Nike Town for every workout outfit. Don’t forget your Nike frees! The more expensive the clothing the better it is for exercising in, trust me you will notice results. Think about how many rad protein-shake dates you will get. I got blown at Jamba Juice once!!!
- SPEND AS MUCH TIME IN THE SAUNA AS YOU CAN
Twenty minutes in the gym forty minutes in the sauna is my idea of a good burn. You sweat out ALL the toxins and you’re good to go. Eat whatever you want as long as you’re really sweaty in a wooden room every day. It’s science.
- IF YOU DONT TAKE TONS OF VITAMINS YOURE NOT GOING TO SEE RESULTS
Vitamins dude!!! Katy Perry and Kelly Osbourne are never wrong about anything and they take a shit load. Head on down to GNC, grab a gold card, and spend spend spend. The more vitamins you take the more jacked you will be.